?A Place Where I Would Like to Live

May 9, 2018 English Language

I like the saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side. ” To me, it means that we tend to believe that life in places different from our residence is for some reasons better. Considering this, I have tried to be content with the place where I resided throughout my life – a regular city in the center of the United States. However, due to various circumstances which would take too much time to describe here, I started to think about changing my life and moving to another area. And, to start with, I attempted to figure out where I wanted to live, in all sincerity.

While living in a city, I discovered that perhaps the most irritating factor for me was the rush and the amounts of unnecessary information I encountered. Every morning I witnessed crowds of people hurrying on their businesses, having quick snacks while leaping from one office to another, glancing at their watches frantically. Every day I was seeing placards, billboards, TV commercials, advertising products which I had completely no need for. There was no escape from it, because commercials were seemingly everywhere: in search engines, in my mailbox, in YouTube clips, in every printed or electronic edition.

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Whenever I browsed for information on topics of interest, I had to wade through tons of informational garbage. “The place I choose to live will be calm and won’t cause me stress,” I said to myself, and kept on thinking. From my early childhood, I loved mountains. When I was taken to the Yellowstone National Park by my parents for the first time, I was literally shocked by the greatness of nature and the amazing feeling of freedom and height. Since that time, I kept on visiting Yellowstone annually; I have also traveled to several mountainous regions of the US and Europe.

Every time I was walking up or standing on the top of a mountain, I wondered: do people living in such places have the same problems as city dwellers? Can a person, who can witness the enormous misty mountain silhouettes in their window each morning really be miserable and petty? “Mountains – that is where I need to live,” I said to myself, and kept on looking on intuition. I was making my decision for a couple more months. During this period, I made solid efforts to recall the most pleasant memories about places I have been to, and to realize my needs concerning a way of life, occupation, communication, geographical location, and so on.

I would stop on a certain variant as the final one, and the next day I would totally reconsider it. Among the places I thought of were Italy, Norway, Peru, and even exotic countries for a westerner to live in, such as China and Nepal. But, after a period of intense consideration, I had finally stopped searching and chose Scotland – Aberdeenshire, in particular. It looked exactly like what I needed: mountainous region, nice people, suitable climate (well, suitable for me, since Scottish climate is rather fickle), the English language being spoken, and both modern civilization and countless opportunities for seclusion and resort.

“Well, seems like I’ve found a perfect place for myself to live,” I said to myself, and started to arrange the formalities. But that is a completely different story. If I Could Change One Thing About Myself Perhaps, one of the most unpleasant feelings one can experience in life is being discontent with oneself. Whereas we are prone to notice negative features in other people, we rarely turn our eyes on ourselves to critically evaluate our behavior or personal qualities. But, if we do, we can notice many traits within ourselves that we would not like to be there.

I try to stay tolerant towards the majority of my personality features. Though, simultaneously with my positive qualities, I can be a lazy, irresponsible, apathetic downer. I learned to live with these and other drawbacks; but, the quality that I would enjoy getting rid of is my tendency to doubt my decisions. It is human nature to doubt ourselves from time to time. Imagine the situation when the five best universities in the United States are willing to have you as their student. This is one chance in a million, and you know this decision could define your entire life.

Most likely, you will not randomly point your finger at one of them and say: “I will study here” (well, not immediately, at least). Instead you will conduct serious research, figuring out the advantages and drawbacks of being a student of each particular university; you will sketch out your future career perspectives as a graduate of each of these universities, and check a number of other parameters. And after intense doubts and worries, you would finally choose your favored institution. This is the most reasonable approach.

But in my case, I am sometimes prone to doubt even after I made a decision. Most likely, I would choose a university carefully, make a final decision, and then doubt about the decision for a while, even though I would be already studying there. In real life, such a peculiarity manifests in more everyday situations. To stay at home or to hang out with friends? Whatever I choose, I will spend some time thinking about the opposite variant. To buy chocolate milk or beer? To go to the cinema or to the theater? To spend vacations in the mountains or at the sea?

Not always, but more often that I would like, I start to reflect about trivial decisions. Would I like to completely quit doubting about anything? I think not. Doubts are a natural mechanism which helps us make the best possible decision in every particular case; without this ability we would most likely make random, uninformed decisions regardless of their possible consequences. But, at the same time, when the decision is made, you must start working to actualize it without hesitation, and this is the moment when doubts become troublesome.

The more you think over a certain action of yours, the more likely you will delay the actual realization of what is on your mind. Wise people teach us to be tolerant towards them, and accept both their negative and positive traits. I agree with this thesis, but with one small specification: this acceptance must not be an excuse for not working towards personal development and growth. This is my approach towards my proneness to doubtfulness: I can live with it, I know it is mine, but I am persistently working on getting rid of this quality.

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