I just got finished having the dreaded conversation with my Mother and Father. It turns out old phoebe was wrong when she said my dad would kill me. He took the news of me getting the boot from Pencey quite well. Though he had a disappointed face on, the one that really kills me. I hate disappointing people but it seems to be something I do often. I never really mean it but it just ends up happening.
They read me the same speech that I got when I left Whooton, it was similar to what Mr. Antolini said. It was about how I have to set goals for my life, learn what I should prioritize, and how my actions will eventually catch up to me. I wanted to throw up when I heard all that bologna. I know what I need to do with my life I am just having a hard time sorting out the phoniness from what is real. I can’t get the image of Phoebe’s face when she was riding the Carousal out of my mind. Her smile reminded me of something real. It was the look in her young, innocent eyes that showed me why I survived my terrible, helluva weekend.
After everything that happened it was clear now that I might actually have a purpose on earth. Despite all the phony kids I’ve come into contact with during my life they had a reason to be there. I admitted this before but I really do miss all of them. They forced me to experience the world, which in the end could help me. I’m not going to make any promises about doing well next fall at school because I don’t know what it will be like. If I end up failing out of there too, I know my fall back is being the Catcher in the Rye.