I Am Not Esther

Two paragraphs explaining how Kirby changes through the novel. In the beginning of the Novel, before Kirby was sent to stay with the pilgrims, she is a ‘mother’ to her mother, she had to organize the running if the flat, she “had to write out cheques for the bills”. So Kirby never really knew what it was like to be a part of a ‘real’ family. Kirby wants to be taken care of by her mother and not have to worry about her mother constantly; Kirby wants to be a teenager. She was happy and led a fun life with her mum.

They used to do fun things like having “a barbecue”, going “to parties”. For Christmas her mum said “let’s die our hair for Christmas! Green and red and silver! ” they didn’t have any relatives, there was only Kirby and her mum but their “neighbours in the next flat – Louisa and her three kids – were like family”. Kirby speaks like an ordinary teenage girl, says doesn’t and ‘not’. At first Kirby hated living with the Pilgrim family because they changed her name and she has always lived how she wanted but now she has to follow rules.

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While Kirby stayed with the religious family her identity started to disappear. She found that she was acting more like Esther than Kirby. For example she began to change the way she speaks. She says “I am Kirby. I am not Esther” Kirby would have said “I’m and I’m not”. She prayed when her aunt was ill, “please god, keep her safe”, “that was a prayer. Me, Kirby, praying”. Soon Kirby started to adjust to the pilgrim’s life, she began to show obedience to her uncle and aunt. aunt, I think you should lie down. I promise I will be obedient”, “would you like me to prepare dinner? ” Kirby got used to their daily life and started to be like them without being aware of it. Kirby found out what it was like to be part of a ‘real’ family while living with the pilgrim family, she was looked after and not the other way around. She still had to do chores, but it wasn’t her responsibility to organize the running of the house or “write out the cheques for the bills”. .



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