No 1 is born a parent ; no 1 truly is a perfect parent. Dibs: In Search of Self is a perfect illustration of this as both parents had no thought how to raise a kid in a loving. compassionate place. Dibs’ female parent stated from the get go that the male child seemed to hold it out for her and he was responsible for destroying her and her matrimony. The male parent was wholly wrapped up in his work and surveies and made certain he’d made no clip for his kids. Additionally. his kids had been instructed to remain out of his room while he was place. Once Dibs’ sister is born. he is once more pushed farther off as their female parent spoils the small miss. Finally. nevertheless even the sister is sent off to a boarding school.
I am non so certain I enjoyed this book as I felt rushed reading it ( by the writer ) and that it were excessively abbreviated in its entireness. I have read other instance surveies through my kid development surveies. and those plants were much more elaborate. This book felt more like a narrative being told. alternatively of in-depth observations. I was anticipating the writer to lucubrate on the issues environing Dibs’ behaviour. instead than merely explicating them off as the female parent and male parent.
Dibs was lost in his universe with really small connexion to any other human existences. His parents’ deficiency of parenting and nurturing caused his internalisation where he couldn’t command his feelings because he could non understand them. Through drama therapy. Dibs learned he could command the tap H2O in the drama room sink. he could command who was buried in the sand. he could happen himself by working out what his feelings were and what they truly meant. However. he couldn’t acquire the nipple back on the babe bottle. He’d splash in the H2O. turn it down to a slow drip. turn it on full force and he would sing to it. yet he repeatedly asked Miss A to replace the mammilla on that bottle. ( Axline. 1964. p. 159 ) This showed me that he so was an stripling who urgently needed support. which he was non acquiring from place.
The father’s response to Dibs’ chattering after his Thursday session truly bothered me. Alternatively of interacting with his boy. he shut him down. efficaciously doing Dibs to respond negatively. Dibs screamed at his male parent that he hated him. ( Axline. 1964. p. 80 ) I had my ma read this book to give me some feedback and about half manner through it. she’d stated that she’d read it one time earlier. She was approximately 16 old ages old in 1978 and her female parent was reading it for a college category. They would read it aloud to her and her siblings after dinners during her semester. She recalled how uncomfortable she felt hearing the book. “In those yearss. you didn’t speak to people who had kids like Dibs. You didn’t look them in the oculus. you didn’t inquire them anything. You avoided them like a disease. because that’s about what they were. When people would discourse about them. it was ever in muted tones. We would ever hear how bad people felt because the kid was retarded or frenzied. ”
During the interview of Dibs’ female parent. she stated: “There was no topographic point we could direct him. ” ( Axline. 1964. p. 87 ) This intrigued me because it seemed really cold for her to desire to merely acquire rid of her kid. but once more in speaking to my ma. that was how it was in that clip period. It was standard pattern to direct job kids off to get oning schools or private patterns to maintain peace in good to make households. Again. Dibs’ sister was finally sent to a private embarkation school herself. even though she was labeled as “a perfect child” .
“When I was a kid. a job kid or one with disablements or with any behaviour job was taken out of public schools. We grew up with them for a clip. so one twenty-four hours they were gone. We were scolded if we talked about them or asked about them in public. I can retrieve a small miss I was in Girl Scouts with until we were 12 old ages old. When we started the 6th class. she had to travel to another school because she couldn’t read or compose like she was supposed to. I ne’er saw her once more and I remember my female parent stating me non to speak about her anymore. I didn’t understand it until I was in my late 20’s. She was dyslexic and had severe larning disablements. The school passed her up until the 6th class. when the school system decided she needed more aid than they could offer. ” ( Interview quote from Roberta Baldwin. 04/21/2013 )
I think it’s interesting how far we’ve come and how much process has changed for assisting kids with disablements. maltreatment. emotional issues. etc. I am perfectly relieved that the alteration was for the better since I have a nephew with physical disablements who will hold all of the support he will necessitate to go successful in his universe!