Many Characteristics Equal One Strong Relationship English Literature Essay

An English author and politician, Eustace Budgell one time said, “ friendly relationship is a strong and accustomed disposition in two individuals to advance the good and felicity of one another ” ( Addison, Steele, & A ; Bond, p. 300 ) . This quotation mark is really true in what has been said and observed about friendly relationship throughout history. Friendship is seen everyplace you look. Opportunities are person channel surfing on the telecasting will probably happen a Television show based on friendly relationships. If you walk through the halls in schools you will see childs huddled together speaking and express joying with their friends ; and if you go to a topographic point of work at lunch clip, it is likely you will see colleagues eating together who have become friends through work. This paper will concentrate on male-male, female-female, and male-female friendly relationships and how to keep friendly relationships. Bride Wars, I Love You, Man, and Valentines Day are all films that portray friendly relationships, back uping the impression that friendly relationships are characterized in many ways, one of which is by gender, and besides that friendly relationship can turn out to be a positive experience in covering with emotions and socialization.


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There are many different types of friendly relationships, whether it is work friends, school friends, or merely friends you have been near with for a piece. Although each of these types of friendly relationships are in different environments and contexts, about all friendly relationships you might meet will portion some similar features. Harmonizing to the text edition, Interpersonal Communications, friendships include five different features: the relationship is voluntary, the people are equals, the friendly relationship is governed by regulations, it may differ by sex, and it has a life span. Friendships are voluntary because no 1 is forced to hold friends. If you are in a friendly relationship with person, both of you are friends by pick. Along with being voluntary, the relationship must besides be maintained through behaviours such as positiveness, openness, and confidence. Friendships are besides normally relationships between peers, or with equals. Therefore, it is much more hard to organize a friendly relationship and go “ friends ” with your foreman or your parents, because they exert a degree of control over you. The following feature is that friendly relationships are governed by regulations. A few implicit in regulations of friendly relationship consists of swearing each other, maintaining secrets, non being covetous of your friends other friends, and supplying emotional support. Furthermore, friendly relationships have a life span. Harmonizing to this text edition, most friendly relationships will finally stop. This can be because they grow to dislike each other, or because friends ‘ life fortunes can alter. It may non be because the friends really want the friendly relationship to stop, but it might merely go on because they no longer have the necessary energy or clip to keep it. However, if a friend is of peculiar importance, communicating ( even if really minimum ) with one another can maintain it traveling ( Floyd, 2009, p. 311-318 ) .

Same-Sex Friendships

Besides the features listed above, many different types of friendly relationships are based on gender. It can be female-female, male-male, or male-female friendly relationships, all of which can be really diverse friendly relationships. Friendships among adult females frequently place greater accent on colloquial and emotional expressiveness. Friendships among work forces focus on shared activities and involvements ( Floyd, 2009, p. 314 ) . Supporting this claim, Aries and Johnson ( 1983 ) , discovered females often discuss personal and household affairs, have a great figure of friends who live nearby, and speak on the phone frequently. However, work forces frequently enjoy discoursing things such as athleticss, similar involvements, or making shared activities. They discovered these things by analysing a study based on 136 grownups ( p. 1193-1194 ) .

While there are multiple contrasting constituents to male-male and female-female friendly relationships, there are besides some similarities. Work force and adult females agree on intents of talk in same-sex relationships. Both work forces and adult females endorse speaking for talk ‘s interest as a chief intent of run intoing up with friends. Following, they both agree that “ undertaking ” is the 2nd ground for run intoing with friends. This means acquiring together to acquire a undertaking done, or discoursing a undertaking that they will be making. The 3rd ground they both agree on for what is the intent of speaking in their friendly relationships is specific relationship issues ( Duck & A ; Wright, 1993, p. 7 ) . To travel along with these findings, Duck and Wright besides discovered that both work forces and adult females are attuned to caring, supportiveness, and encouragement. However, adult females are much more likely than work forces to show these things ( p. 17 ) .


There are two films in peculiar that portray each type of gender-based friendly relationship that has been discussed therefore far. Bride Wars is a film about two misss who have been best friends since they were childs. Liv and Emma ( played by Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway ) , are both proposed to be married around the same clip and both have dreamed of holding their nuptialss at the celebrated Plaza Hotel. Unfortunately, the nuptialss were by chance booked on the same twenty-four hours, and Liv and Emma spend the bulk of the film contending with each other and seeking to undermine each other ‘s nuptialss. At the terminal of the film, viewing audiences can state that Liv and Emma are true friends, even though the film depicts a batch of struggles within their friendly relationship.

Liv and Emma represent an ideal female-female friendly relationship that goes with all of the features discussed earlier in the paper. They are friends by pick. When they were immature they became friends and take to stay friends throughout their lives and had ever been at that place for each other. Their friendly relationship was besides governed by regulations, which were stretched to the bounds during the film. Keeping each other ‘s secrets was particularly tested at the terminal of the film when a picture of Emma dancing at spring interruption was played while she was walking down the isle. It was non until shortly after this event did we get down to see Emma and Liv exert true friendly relationship, portraying forgiveness. Emma forgave Liv and they were back to being best friends, and finally were pregnant for kids that were due on the same twenty-four hours.

I Love You, Man is a comedy about a adult male, Peter ( played by Paul Rudd ) who is engaged to be married, but realizes that he has no male friends. He does non cognize who will stand up in his nuptials, and all of his fiance ‘s friends are get downing to believe he is eldritch because he is ever about and has no male friends. He so meets his soon-to-be best friend, Sydney ( played by Jason Segel ) when Sydney poses as a prospective client at an unfastened house ( Peter is a Realtor ) . The two of them become about inseparable, making all the things adult male best friends do ; playing music in the “ adult male cave, ” traveling on hikings with other cats friends, and traveling to concerts to listen to their favourite set Rush. All of these things support the research that has been done about male-male friendly relationships. Sydney and Peter ‘s relationship was non formed around discoursing personal and household affairs, but by making shared activities, and through making these things, they bonded. Not that they did non discourse anything personal. They discussed things about Peter ‘s life with his fiance , Zoey, and talked about Sydney ‘s past relationships and household. Through all of this they formed a strong friendly relationship, became best friends, and finally Sydney stood up as Peter ‘s best adult male in his nuptials.

Cross-Sex Friendships

Contrary to female-female and male-male friendly relationships, cross sex friendly relationships ( those between a male and female ) require a whole other kingdom of research because they are really different from same sex friendly relationships. Though there are many benefits to traverse sex friendly relationships, there besides can be some troubles that go along with them. Cross sex friendly relationships can ensue in four different types of challenges described by Monsour, Harris, Kurzweil, and Beard ( 1994 ) . The first challenge is the emotional bond challenge. Males and females have been taught since birth to look at the opposite sex as a prospective romantic spouse so organizing a friendly relationship with person can do confusion if one individual is looking at it is holding the capableness of someday going romantic while they other individual is merely looking for friendly relationship. The following challenge is the sexual challenge. For some of the same grounds listed as challenges in the emotional bond, the sexual challenge besides confronts the thought that many persons can feel a sexual tenseness in their relationships. The challenge is whether to move on it or non. Acting on it could ensue in the start of a fantastic romantic relationship, or could be the terminal of a friendly relationship. The 3rd challenge is the equality challenge. Because equality is an of import constituent of a friendly relationship, it sometimes causes issues between male-female friendly relationships. It is sometimes noticed that work forces may hold male-dominance in friendly relationships ; this may do challenges because friendly relationships do best if everyone treats one another as peers. Finally, the audience challenge is the last type of challenge discussed in cross-sex friendly relationships. It is at times hard to explicate to the outer universe the constituents and definition of a cross-sex friendly relationship. Many foreigners do non believe it can truly happenaˆ¦an equal friendly relationship, with no sexual involvement, between a male and female. Because of this, it can be a challenge for the two people within the friendly relationship, particularly if they are easy influenced by the outside universe. ( p. 56-57 ) .

Despite these challenges, there are besides possible benefits from cross-sex friendly relationships. Harmonizing to Michael Monsour, writer of Women and Men as Friends: Relationships across the Life Span in the twenty-first Century, there are a twosome of different benefits that are alone to cross-sex friendly relationships. One benefit is that these types of friends provide each other with other-sex company and insider positions on how members of the opposite sex think, feel, and act. Because of this, each member of the friendly relationship better understands why people may move the manner they do, or say the things they say. Cross-sex friendly relationships are to boot good in doing subsequently cross-sex interactions in life easier to be in ( p. 7-8 ) .

Further Application

Valentines Day is a film with a batch of chief characters in it. There are likely about 10 different people in it, which the spectator finally realizes are intertwined together by the terminal of the film. The two people to concentrate on, nevertheless, are Reed ( played by Ashton Kutcher ) and Julia ( played by Jennifer Garner ) . Reed is in love with a miss named Morley, and Julia is get downing to fall for a Dr. Harrison Copeland. Despite holding slightly separate lives, with Reed as a florist and Julia as a school teacher, they are each other ‘s best friends. Reed gives Julia advice on Dr. Copeland, and Julia attempts to assist Reed acquire over his bosom being broken by Morley ( who broke off their engagement early in the film ) . Both of these things go along with what are some of the benefits of cross-sex relationships. With Reed being a male, he gives Julia insider information on what he thinks she should make to surprise Dr. Copeland on Valentine ‘s Day. He thought he was giving good advice for Julia to surprise Dr. Copeland by traveling to see him, because he would wish it if his girlfriend did that for him. This was all before Reed finds out that Dr. Copeland is married, and has a whole other life that he is maintaining from Julia. Reed so tries to halt Julia at the airdrome, stating her what merely a true friend would state ; the truth, because he would hold wanted to cognize that Morley was traveling to go forth him if anyone else had known.

This film depicts a positive experience with cross-sex friendly relationships. Reed and Julia were at that place for each other when needed, and gave advice when needed. However, they did traverse the “ friendship lines ” at the terminal of the film, and it ended with the two of them snoging, doing it seem like they were traveling to get down a relationship. It is unknown whether they had a happy stoping in a romantic relationship, or if their friendly relationship was ruined by it, because those are truly the lone two options you have when traveling by being best friends and into a relationship. Two people seldom can return to being best friends because of the challenges listed antecedently, particularly the sexual challenge. There will ever be a sexual tenseness in the relationship after traveling farther than being “ merely friends ” which makes it progressively hard to travel back to friendship you had before.


Whether it is same-sex or cross-sex, friendly relationships are a great signifier of communicating and societal experience. They can be found in a battalion of ways in life, merely walking around the halls of a school or taking a walk through a promenade, one will most likely see a few different types of friendly relationship. There is no friendly relationship that is precisely the same, but most friendly relationships have many similar features. Person is fortunate to hold person they can name a true friend because it is the opportunity to portion a portion of yourself with person you can ever swear and trust on.



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