One of my most memorable and disheartening moments in my life was the day that I had to watch my grandfather lay in the hospital and die. When a family member passes on and it is one that you have a close bond with it is very hard to deal with. This was a difficult time for me I didn’t understand why he had to die. I was angry at God because I thought that he had called my grandfather as a punishment or some sort of mean act. Each night I would ask god why he took my grandfather, my buddy, away from me. Things like this can drive someone insane; it certainly took its toil on me. Just like in Woiwode’s “Wanting an Orange” the two little boys wanted an orange so bad that they were willing to act as if they were sick in order to get one. The same reaction took place in my thoughts as well. I thought that if I could die I could be with my grandfather in heaven.
Trying to overcome this heartbreaking experience was awful and seemed to take forever. I felt as if the world was caving in on me. My whole world was falling down around me; it was almost as if everything I had ever known was taken from me. Things just kept getting worse. My saving grace was the talks that my Grandmother had with me. Watching her and seeing how that she dealt with the death of her husband, a man whom she loved with all of her heart and who she had lived with for so many years, made me realize that things would get better. Grandma talked to me and told me that it was not God’s fault that he had taken grandpa to a much better place. She said that I should be thankful for all the time that we had be happy that grandpa was in the promise land. His suffering was over and now he could be happy. I began to understand that I had been selfish and feeling sorry for myself. Even though I was young I understood that God’s will was a good thing. I still hurt but the pain was getting better, I knew that he could not be with me for…
